Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
