5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
