you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
