and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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