Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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