I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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