He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
