By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
