There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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