R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
