I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
