Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
