you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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