i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
