I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
