And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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