"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
