Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm really busy with my period
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