My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
