he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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