I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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