you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
