I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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