Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
