just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
