Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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