Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
