no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
