Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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