You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dear god my vagina.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
