I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she was so not down for the gang bang
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
