Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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