so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The air was thick with penises
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
