Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
