I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
