Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I still have a little drunk in my system
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
