What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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