i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
