everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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