No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
