This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
