The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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