I'm so fucking centered right now
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
