I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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