Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
