I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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