How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
