I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
