best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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