i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
