who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
